Friday, June 4, 2010

Some Thoughts....

I’ve been thinking a lot lately, making internal changes, becoming more vocal when I’m bothered by something, and when it’s all said and done I hope the end result is that I’m becoming a better person. This has been an ongoing process for me for sometime now but really has seemed to evolve around the time of the Down syndrome diagnosis for Kaitlyn.

I hope this post doesn’t turn into a huge rant. I’m not even sure of the end result of what I am going to say, I just know I have some thoughts to get off my chest, I mean, share.

A couple weeks ago a particular episode aired from the ABC TV show, What would you do? I took special interest in this specific episode because it dealt with individuals in a public setting being rude to individuals with Down syndrome, the whole time camera’s are rolling catching the reaction of others witnessing this horrible behavior. I won’t go into detail, watch the clip if you’d like, but to say the least my reaction to the show was completely devastating. It hit me on a personal level for obvious reasons, but ultimately it has me thinking about society as a whole…friends, family, strangers…everyone…and the lack of tact people have and their inability to think before they speak regarding all issues, public and private.

I’ve dealt with a few “comments” over the past weeks, months, and years. Some personal to me and others not, but all inconsiderate. Please, think before you speak. If I’ve learned anything it is that you have absolutely NO idea regarding a persons personal situation, even if you’re a close friend or family member and you think you have the right to speak, please proceed with caution, and think with your heart before you talk.

Here comes the rant:

  • Don’t ask a young couple over and over when they are going to start a family. Maybe they have been trying for awhile now and have been dealing with miscarriages and infertility.
  • Don’t question a Mother’s personal support system and question her inability to find a babysitter for her kids. For all you know they might have a child with special needs at home who they won’t leave with just anyone, and maybe, they normally do have some extra help but Grandma is battling cancer and fighting for her life at the moment and isn’t available to help out right now. (Grrrr to you doctors office receptionist)
  • Don’t talk about politics with just anyone. Not everyone shares your views and that’s alright. Stop being so rude and personally attacking a persons beliefs just because they don’t share the same as you. Bite your tongue. How silly is it to have politics cause division in a family. Really.
  • Be careful what you say about large families, maybe they wanted it that way, or maybe they trust that even though it was not their plan they trust that God’s plan is much greater then any they could have planned for themselves. (Hello, God gave me Kaitlyn, Ds and all, as well as surprise bundle #4, not my plan, but I trust His is MUCH greater, and wouldn’t change a thing)
  • Do not stick your nose in a couple’s very personal decisions. And do not make comments trying to sway their decisions. They are intelligent individuals with a strong marriage. They will make the right choice without you butting in pushing your views.
  • And last but not least, I know I have spoke of the “R” word and the pain it causes and I thank anyone who has stopped using that word. But today I ask you to stop saying all hurtful slang terms that our society has deemed acceptable. Look past the special needs community into all other “special” community’s of people (Gay/Lesbian community, the Little People community, etc.). There are slang hurtful terms for all types of people. The English language is so large, surely you can think of another word to use.

So there you have it, some of my thoughts! Stick up for people when it is the right thing to do, and bite your tongue when needed. I’m sure I’ll read this tomorrow morning and wonder what was I thinking, but tonight I post it…………


  1. I hope that when you read this tomorrow that you do not question yourself. I comend you for putting this out there. Very true words. You have a beautiful family and they all seem to be very happy and loved. At the end of the day that is all that matters. I raise a large family and while that was never my plan I love every minute of it. I have heard all sorts of things along the way. I just smile and think to myself that maybe if "they" walked a day in my shoes they would understand. I am not the perfect mother and my children are not perfect but they are well behaved and I think that I am doing a pretty good job. We are only given what we can handle. Keep on going. I think you are doing an amazing job!! Shelley

  2. I'm glad you posted this!! I agree with ALL the above. I may need to do a similar post. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Hooray for you!! Great post. :)

  4. what a great post! Kaitlyn is precious!!! as are your boys! 4 is crazy, but in a great way, Parker was #4, a surprise that came with lots of other surprises too! He is 2 months older than Kaitlyn! Blessings!